IMAGE IS LOADING, PLS BE PATIENT.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Well okay, like you thought, crying as per normal. I'm not eating anything starting today. I'm not going to be what I was like before. I'm keeping everything bottled up. I'll explode one day. And You, Mr, You. Don't rub salt in the wound. What you've done is enough. I got thrown away like I always am. My friends threw me like dump. My parents threw me away like toys. You threw me away like a dog. Well. I guess this is the life. I really wanted to change to be able to love again. I guess I was wrong. I don't want to live. I'll drink, smoke and cut myself today. Just like the other day. I'll make sure it bleeds more than Fate's. I will. That's all. I suck. You're king of everything. Okay. I made you sound like a matrep. Okay. I made my parents ashamed. I made my brothers hate me. I made my friends push me away. What more do you want me to do to make people have negative actions on me? Tell me what.

Tashah so melodramatic la. Stop it eh?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Okay. Guys, I'm going for good. I've been pushed away. More like kicked. Okay I'm stupid. No one cares bout me. And don't you people who pretend to be my friends come to me and say OH I LOVE YOU, DONT GO AWAY. All I'll say is fuck you. I'm getting drunk and I'm going smoking tonight. Alone. So? Grounded. Yeah so? I'm stupid to even understand care and concern. Yeah too bad. Well who am I? A living dead whore. Okay thanks bye.

Tashah so melodramatic la. Stop it eh?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007

1. Is it good for a kid to quit at something if he/she thinks they're no good at ?
I feel that my child should learn to love challenges.

2. Do you believe in constant nourishment?
Yeah.

3. Are you a child molester?
Would Mike Jackson confess at this?

4. When frusturated or angry do you tend to overreact?
Yes sometimes.

5. Should you have regular outings with your kid/s as a family?
I don't want my child to be growing up under a rock.

6. Is it wise to talk to your kids about sex as often as you can in their teens?
Yeah. So they'd be aware of the dangers.

7. Do you frown upon upon underage drinking?
Too underage is a big nono. But drinking at the age of 16 should'nt be too shabby.

8. Do you believe a child should be taught respect at an early age?
Yes cause kids grow up picking up everything they see.

9. Is physical sports an option foryour future son?
Up to you la child.

10. Is 15 a good age to start letting a child become a little more Independent?
15 is too old don't you think? I'd say 14. Whether girl or boy.

11. Do you believe in positive reinforcement?
Yeah.

12. Do you think modern music, movies,or videogames play a significant role on a child's life?
Yeah.

13. If you knew your kid was drinking 15+ do you talk to them and have an agreement if they do it again?
I'll tell me kid to try to stop. Prolly at the age of 17, he can drink all he wants. But 15?

14. If a baby is constantly crying for attention do you give it to him?
We did that when we were kids too.

15. If your kid is honest with you when it comes to going out, should you give him/her more leniency?
Yeah. Even if it's a bad thing, I trust my kid to know what's right and wrong.

16. Should you encourage your child to defend themself, but also teaching them to never pick a fight?
Yeah. Warn them once or twice. They still bully you, beat them up. That's what my dad taught me.

17. Do you think a single parent works just as well as a married couple?
You need two hands to clap to make a sound.

18. You should always talk to your kids about drugs, even if they dont want to?
FIRM YES!

19. Are you a gay couple considering adoption?
The answer is the same as if your mom has three legs.

20. Do you tell them it's okay to quit if he/she put's no effort into it?
I'll force him/her to like it. Even if it happens to be Maths.

Tashah so melodramatic la. Stop it eh?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Sunday, May 27, 2007

Thinking of: Why Bren did that.
Song: I will fly - ten2five.
Mood: Help me recover my love?

So I'm still over at Aunt Nana's crib. Slept over. Hms. Had a family gathering here today. Kassandra's birthday today. Happy 8th, child. So I'm practically shocked over something. I guess la. Cause I'm not supposed to care about it. Till Ahmad told me everything. Only then did I feel the hurt and betrayal. Hm okay. Let's drop the topic. So now, everyone's in the theatre room. Yes Aunt Nana has a room specially for movie marathons like today. There's air-conditioning, sofa, cushions, rugs and mats and a dark room. How cool. Slept there last night. Nice. They're watching Jangan Pandang Belakang. So Jack's outside with me. He doesn't like movies. I pity you, kid. Jack's not his real name la actually. His name's Kieran Aryan. Youngest child and only boy Aunt Nana has. Cute kid I must say. So yeah. Aunty Aida's here too. She brought Iman(girl), Qhalif(boy) and Falishah. Yeah. They're all int he theatre room. I don't care if you don't care. I just like to type. So don't read if you don't want to. Okay? I'm making a new blog. A very own I must say. Only me, Fatin, Brendon and Ahmad will get to read it. It's a very personal thing and these are close people. Maybe Fate too once I start talking to him again. I hope Deela is reasonable this time. God I miss Fate fetching me from school during the exams. Bro, where are you? I want to show you my cool deep scar and say sorry. Do call me soon la bro. And fetch me from school after the hols too la. I miss watching bubble tea pearls explode. And I did miss laughing and smiling sincerely. Come on la Fate. Sorry alright? You're worrying me. I do hate your girlf cos she's unreasonable to you and you're letting her step all over your head. Br, where's the Fate I know that doesn't allow any stepping over heads. So who's going to keep my spirits up now that you're gone huh? Lost a dear dear best friend and he won't come back. God god god. I'll talk to you on your birthday okay? Well maybe by that time, you've forgotten me and we can start anew alrights.

So okay I guess I should go watch movies too huh since Bren's put having fun, Ahmad's got to go somewhere and Shiv no where to be found. Oh and Fatinn too. There are no bookshops anywhere nowadays. Where have all the bookstores gone? Will someone take me out to a date-with-books date? Fatinn? Let's go shopping for books? Hms. I love reading nowadays I guess. So get me a nice book with a nice cover and a Shre's headband and i'll be your little angel.

Well much love,
Tashah<3

Tashah so melodramatic la. Stop it eh?
Sunday, May 27, 2007


Saturday, May 26, 2007

My Holidays.

Grounded.
Phone confiscated.
Laptop confiscated.

Tashah so melodramatic la. Stop it eh?
Saturday, May 26, 2007


Friday, May 25, 2007

thinking of: what he said was true.
song: through the rain - mc
mood: how-do-you-make-a-deep-wound-stop-bleeding-and-tearing-by-itself ?

im sorry i cut myself today. i itched for it. i bought it a few weeks back. the thing was sharp. i didnt notice. i pressed too hard and i could see the white skin. just like fate said. i got so shocked at the blood dripping, i was too scared to move. but i did manage to see the blood flow. it was gushing out. it was kind of pretty. but the wound got bigger. it tore by itself. i could feel the stretch. as im typing, the wound is tearing and bleeding. tell me this isn't the end. i cried so loudly outside the house. only ten minutes later then i remembered to put on pressure like fate used his bandanna. i went it, washed the blood but not the wound. so i used a cloth and pressed it down. slowly reflected and what i did. then i started to cry. i needed you to stop my bleeding for me. hold this cloth down hard as i look into your eyes and make you cry with me. to feel you feeling scared, it makes me smile at a point where you're afraid to leave me. when will FATE introduce us properly? why not? dont say we're not meant to be. i know we are. you're not seeing it yet. one day i'll come back for you. i promise i will. whether you like or not. i'll be in MIA for the mean time. till i really find myself and know who i am, hold my responsibilities, be perfect, i'll come back aacting its accidental. i'll not come for you directly. i want you to see through me. i don't want to lie. i never did. if you're not coming home, i'll come to what you call your home. i will. i want to change myself. i'll change my email, change everything. i'll only appear once or twice. i want you to know i want this. no matter how hard it makes me suffer. i really love you. and now, i wipe my tears with the bloody bloody cloth. so what do i do with your pictures? exactly what. keep it to yourself. i'll be MIA. the only thing you'll know that is updated, is this stinking blog.

Tashah so melodramatic la. Stop it eh?
Friday, May 25, 2007

I'm drinking too much water. Eating too little. School is my only meal. I want to burst and splash water all over. I hope the water from my body lets you feel how I feel when it touches your body. Feel my fire. Feel my fight for love. Feel it. I hope you die when you feel it okay? You assholes.

Tashah: Boys are all the same.
Typical Guy: Not all boys are the same. They're different in their own way. I'm not like them.
Tashah: Yeah and my son is the Chow Yun Fat.
Typical Guy: No really.
Tashah: Yeah who said you were lying.
Typical Guy: So, the only thing I'm trying to convey is, I'm not like them.
Tashah: Ha-Ha-Ha.
Typical Guy: You do believe me don't you?
Tashah: No. The only thing that is different between these boys are that the words they use to spray it to break a girl's heart. The conclusions are the same. The key words and phrases stick. The results: A happy playboy and a dying young girl who gets it all the time. So yeah. I don't trust you bullshits anymore.
Typical Guy: Nah don't say that. I'm really different.
Tashah:WAH STUPID! YOU DON'T GET IT IS IT!?
Typical Guy: *Goes silent*
Tashah: *BLOCK AND DELETE*

Girls, learn. If this is just about how your convo with a guy goes, BLOCK AND DELETE before it's too late and you become like me. Keep running back. I'm still running back and I do realise it.

Tashah so melodramatic la. Stop it eh?
Friday, May 25, 2007