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IMAGE IS LOADING, PLS BE PATIENT.
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I tossed and turned last night and woke up to dreams I didn't want to have but couldn't be called nightmares cause they were so wonderful. I awoke at around 4:30 this morning. I just layed and stared my blank stare at the little dots on my ceiling, trying to form an illusion that might just lull me back into that time consuming daze. I told myself each of my flaws counting by numbers. It made me smile and fall back to sleep for no more than a half an hour. This isn't worth it. What I do to myself. This feeling in my fingers that makes my hands shake and my stomach turn. I feel waves of that terrifying tingly numbness rush through me after every heartbeat. The stiffness in my joints. I want to stretch but I'm just so tired. It feels like the game is beginning again. Like I need my fix. I need someone to hold me, touch me, love me, rock me in your arms and call me baby. It's broken it's emotional barrier and its tearing me apart physically. The whole amount of my insides quivers incessantly. My heart will skip a beat and I hold my breath in fear of each moment. A wave of nausea sweeps me off my feet. A murmur of whispers telling me I've gone bonkers. What have you done to me? I fold, bend, and break in your arms each and every day. And that's how I like it.
Tashah so melodramatic la. Stop it eh?
Saturday, May 19, 2007