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Monday, April 16, 2007

Thinking of: Piercing my lip back again for the eleventh time thank you.
Song: Nineteen stars - Meg and Dia.
Mood: Lethargic, Pain, Hurt, Anger, Confusion, High.


Went to school today. But then, wasn't feeling quite okay. It was alright in the bus. Then I saw Steph and Faa waiting and didn't see Nabee. So I went down and waited. Then Era came. She took 21 today. She walked towards us and I saw a stupid bitchyfook. AFINI! She coloured her brows black? Like woman, you look worst than Kajol having one eyebrow. So we were all like wtf? Okay so we waited. Then Nabee didn't turn up. I thought she would come to school later. So we went to school first. By then, I was feeling abit like out of mood cos I did want a hug. Hm! When w reached school, she wasn't there either. So since I was from a different class, we went our seperate ways. The one where Nabee was always there to walk with me. So I continued waiting. By the time Ms Ee bitchfuck came, I wrote Nabee as absent. And at that point of time, I lost my mood. Felt so sick. WALAO! I MISS NABEE LIKE ALOT SIAAAAAAK! (more than I missed cutting myself.) I need you like more that you need yourself saaaah.

To clear it all, to make things better, everytime you see a slit on me, don't get mad and vent your anger on me. Did you ever try to ask why before you got mad at me like hell and not talk to me for the whole day and curse me in your blog? It really does help when I know someone's there to listen to me and my horse cum problems. It really does. So don't go fucking me and hating me altogether and running back to your ex-bestfriend, (yes the one that you hated me with last year), without asking why I cut myself? It really means alot for someone to ask me. I'm just going to shut up and cry the whole day on my birthday. Hopefully then you'll ask me why. I tried to get your attention from like since day one. But sadfuck,I only got it for a few months. 3 months that is. And then again, Mai would be the centre of your attention. Probably when you're having your I'm-a-nice-person days, we'd talk about this and you'll see me cry. Would you understand me then? I' not being Emo or the sake of being Emo. If I'm going to lose one of my family members because of being Emo,then I quit being Emo. My friends taught me he meaning of being a family. Ask me when I've eaten. Having each other's backs. Sitting at the stairs and comforting one of us because of one bitchfuck boy. Crying together, laughing together. That really taught me. But now, you think I'm trying to have my revenge on you? I don't want revenge. Why would I? I learnt how to forgive. But I won't forget for sure. Having revenge on you would just give me something back. So don't tell me you're done for. I need you still. And don't put the Rawr-ers into this. Ask Sawah. I cried and told her everything about you. She just says everything will be okay. She says you care. I don't want to liten to that. I've been listening to those for 13 years and 359 days. I need to see it to believe it. So when you really show me you care, when you ask, properly, only then will it feel like I'm in love again.

Everyone get's so into the Wtf-Sia-Tasya-Cut-Herself-Cos-Of-Something-Stupid-And-Make-Me-Mad kind of mood. But they never asked why. So don't go around telling me you love me. telling me you care when you're just there for pretend.



PAIN.

Tashah so melodramatic la. Stop it eh?
Monday, April 16, 2007